1.Customer Service Just Isn’t a Thing.
In Scotland it is mediocre to bad at best. In London you can pretty much forget about customer service all together. “Please”, “thank you”, “you’re welcome”, “have a nice day”… If you work in a customer focused role in London then you should obviously delete these phrases from your vocabulary.
Good customer service is as rare as finding an Irn-Bru fronted shop in London. It’s unlikely, but it CAN happen!
2. “Banter” is Clearly Specific to Your Region of Origin.
In Scotland it’s taking the piss out of everybody and anybody, in London it’s every other person doing a HILARIOUS attempt at a Scottish accent. No, I’m not from Glasgow, or Aberdeen, or even Ireland! And PLEASE don’t ask me which part of the States I’m from.
3. Just Face it, Buses Are Unreliable.
Three will still turn up at once but at least down here you’ll only wait about ten minutes tops unlike the regular forty minute wait back home in Stirling. Although London does TRUMP Stirling in terms of ticket prices for buses!
HOW MUCH!?
4. I Like Guacamole.
Mexican food is really trendy. It was inevitable that at some point I would accidentally slip some green foam into my mouth. Thankfully, it’s not too bad.
5. Rain in London is 100x Worse Than Rain Anywhere Else.
Maybe it’s all the people? Maybe being brought up in Scotland has made me ever-prepared-for-rain? But when it rains in London it’s like all Hell has broken loose. You get an umbrella spoke in one eye, whilst somebody splashes a puddle up the opposite leg, then some old biddy pushes you out of the shelter of the bus stop so that she can tie on her RainMate… Buy jackets with hoods on them, people!
6. Anarchist Liason Officer is a REAL Job Title.
Don’t know what else to say. It caught my eye the other day in Parliament Square and made me go “oh, really?”
7. Traffic Signals Only Apply To Cars.
Actually, that’s a bit of a lie.If you’re a bus, cyclist or a pedestrian you just go when you feel like it. If you’re a car then it’s okay to sometimes obey the traffic signals. Now and again. When you feel like it.
8. If Uni Fails I Have a Back-Up.
Since moving to London both Billy and I have developed an unhealthy obsession for chicken wings. I thoroughly believe that if it doesn’t work out at university I have solid experience for a position as a chicken wing connoisseur/tester/standard officer.
9. People Email Way Too Much.
Seriously, I thought WhatsApp was the in thing. Although that’s because I have only just discovered it. Apparently it’s not that cool. I’ve gained three, yes three, new email addresses since arriving in the big smoke. It’s ridiculous. Just give me a call and leave me a voice mail or something! I hate to think what life must be like down here without a smartphone!
Well, that escalated quickly!
10. Tortilla Indicates Where You Are Geographicslly.
If you have never been to a Tortilla you have never lived. Okay so it is fast food but it’s Mexican style and, as I’ve already said, Mexican is totally in at the moment. Billy and I have affectionately renamed Tortilla “Taco-Taco” but you can call it whatever you fancy. In Clapham Junction there’s a Tortilla so that means I definitely live in London. Kingston, where I go to uni, does not have a Tortilla thus meaning it will always just be in Surrey regardless of what the authorities decide.
Utter bliss during my first ever “Taco-Taco” experience.
Until next next time, much love.
Liv. x
Liv in London is in San Fran 